This post is so long over due. I have been slacking in the blogging department this summer. It's so long over due that I don't even know where to start except at - color me surprised!
Pete and I had been talking about a possible baby #2, we just had no idea it would be just around the corner. Not that this baby was a 'surprise' but it was a lot quicker than we were anticipating. Every time I would hold a new baby I would feel slightly overwhelmed. My sister-in-law had a baby recently as did a close friend. The more I thought of why, I came to the conclusion of guilt. Having to share my love and attention with someone other than Harlow overwhelmed me. What would she think if we had another baby, how would she react, would she still know we loved her just the same? Well, since we have confirmed that baby #2 is coming I am pleasantly surprised that these feelings have diminished a little. I still feel sad that she might not fully understand what is going on but I don't doubt that she knows we love her still.
Around Harlow's 2nd birthday I felt a little funny. I noticed how much more emotional and irrational I was being. Commercials were making me teary eyed and I was just feeling off. Harlow and I were strolling through Target one day and the pregnancy tests caught my eye. At first I laughed at myself, but then I thought back through my calendar and decided what would it hurt to try. Boy did I blow my own mind that afternoon. I don't think I even told Pete that day, I kept the news to myself. i wanted to give it to him as a birthday present but those 3 days from taking the test to his birthday were killing me. So one night when we were in bed, lights out, I asked him if he wanted an early birthday present. Ha! He said it was a present he was not expecting! We are both excited to double the love and joy that Harlow brings into our lives but we would be lying if we said we weren't heading into this journey a little anxious and nervous too. Right now, if I'm tired, Pete can take over Harlow duty or vice versa. But what will we do when there are 2 of them?!
This pregnancy has been a roller coaster for me. I was sick as a dog when I was pregnant with Harlow. I vomited every day for 5 months just about. I had more frequent migraines and back pain. But this time around has been different. I have only thrown up once but for the first 17 weeks I was a mess. Most days I felt like I couldn't get out of bed. I was tired and nauseous. The sight, smell or thought of food could just about make me cry and my energy level was at a zero. I almost wished most days that I would just throw up and get it over with so I could stop feeling so nauseous. That never happened... And then the migraines set in, I've thrown up multiple times from the migraines this pregnancy just not from being nauseous. At first they were few and far between but were so bad that I spent entire days in bed. And then they became weekly, and lately they have been every 3 days. Thought I have had only one this week (knock on wood!). The back pain is worse this time around too. It must have something to do with not being as in-shape as I was last time. Carrying the groceries just about does it for me. The rest of the day is shot after that. Or carrying Harlow.
I'm not very comfortable spreading the news of pregnancy too soon. I like to wait until I'm far enough along that the chances of something happening are much slimmer. But this year Pete had to leave for work in Texas and Harlow and I were staying behind for a couple of weeks. One day I just had to tell my parents. I was only 6 or 8 weeks along at the time but I needed help! I was tired, irritable, sick and I was pretty convinced Harlow would have to starve because the thought of making her 3 meals a day was killing me. So thank you to my mom and dad! And then when Pete came back from Texas to help Harlow and I pack up and make the journey to Texas with him, we told his family. We went out to breakfast at Batter Up before we headed out of town and so did they for a swim meet. We sat down to breakfast and Pete had secretly asked a waitress if they could write Baby #2 on his mom's pancake. She was pretty confused for a few seconds when they put it down in front of her! But there was a lot of excitement once she figured it out! I made the mistake of telling Harlow before our family members. My dad came over one day and Harlow told him that she had a baby sister. ha! Nothing gets by a 2 year old I guess.
Well fast forward a little and we are in Texas for the summer. My pregnancy is going smoothly except for the migraines right now. I am 20 weeks along, 21 weeks this Saturday. And it has been confirmed that baby #2 is a GIRL!
Let me tell you, I have never been more surprised. I was dead set that it was going to be a boy. I think I wanted a boy this time around so I could have one of each and be done. 2 pregnancies sounded great with me! I even trusted my hunch so much so that I bought a pair of Nike shoes I found on sale. At 15 weeks, I found a Dr. here in Texas and was scheduled for a routine sonogram since I was a new patient to them. The tech said that it was a girl and I am positive I shed a few tears. Not because I was unhappy that it was a girl but because I was so overwhelmed. I thought for sure it was a boy! But the more I think about how exciting it will be for Harlow to have a sister, the more happy I am with the outcome. I grew up wishing I had a sister. Harlow will have a best friend for life! And they will be less than 3 years apart. But just to make sure, I didn't let myself go out all crazy and buy girly things. I waited until my 20 week ultra sound to have it confirmed again that yes it was indeed a baby girl!
Harlow is doing great with the news. She has even become protective of the baby too. The other day she heard 2 little kids talking about a crying baby upstairs that was so loud and she turned to them and said, "No! Baby not crying, she's right here in mommy's tummy." She sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to my stomach, pats the baby and gives her kisses. She talks about her baby sister all the time. Sometimes I wonder if she is just repeating what she has heard us say or if she is really ingesting everything and processing the information. I think she understand more because Baby Bennett was born recently. And she sees that cousin Amelia has a baby brother living at her house. We read her books about being a big sister, we make sure to stop and point out new babies when we are out an about and we talk about sister on a daily basis. I want her to get use to the idea of someone other than herself. But I guess only time will tell. Ready or not, Baby Hafen #2 will be here December 2012!
